We go to the gym in the morning around the same time but he usually arrives around 30 minutes after me. As I'm leaving, I usually go over to say bye and give him a smooch. On this particular day, I just didn't feel too well so when I went to tell Mike goodbye, I mentioned that I didn't feel good. Nothing is more irritating to me then a 'none response' and that is exactly what Mike did. He just sort of looked at me and gave this half nod of acknowledgement. I repeated that I wasn't feeling well thinking he didn't hear me and he gave me the same response. Semi-jokingly, I rolled my eyes at him and left the gym.
Fast forward to that evening and I again, semi-jokingly said..."when I say I don't feel well, try saying something like Sorry to hear that babe or I hope you feel better." We both laughed about it and he said something like, "how about when you want me to respond a specific way, you say I'm going to tell you I don't feel good and I would like you to tell me Sorry." Ok, a semi-valid point actually.
Based on my experience (and the experience of many of my female friends), I have always been an advocate of telling your hubs/boyfriend exactly what you need from him. I, personally, think it's ridiculous to give these weird, subliminal clues to your husband on how you want him to respond to you but don't actually tell him what you need. Ladies - If you want your husband to ask how your day way, then tell him you want him to do that. Ladies - If you want your husband to hug/hold you when you are feeling down(and not be Mr. Fix It), then tell him. In my experience, it works quite well and men are generally pretty responsive to what you ask of him. I'm not trying to insult a man's ability to read between the lines & play this guessing game women like to play because I know there are some men out there that probably play that game well. Mike and I don't play that game very well so this is what works for us after 9 1/2 years together.
I remember getting into a
Does this process seem superficial? Maybe a little bit at first because you know he's just asking how your day is because you told him too...but it actually evolves into something more meaningful and you start to learn a lot about each other. :)
When I have friends tell me, "My husband/boyfriend doesn't do this or say that and it makes me so mad." My first question is "Does he know you want him to do that or say that to you?" In my experience, it really is that simple and so much less stressful and emotional then the guess why I'm upset game.
What do you think? Does this work for you? Do you tackle this issue a different way?